Talk the Talk
"Arr, mateys!" is how Henry greets them when they enter the kitchen, in a terrible fake accent (and practically bouncing; he’s clearly been waiting to bust that out for a while). Killian is so taken aback—literally, his head twitches backward—that Emma has to press her hand over her mouth to keep from laughing out loud.
"Good… morning," Killian says, watching Henry warily, then glancing at Emma.
But Emma’s in no condition to explain, so Henry grins at Killian and says (in the same horrible accent, and really, kid, you live with Captain Hook and that’s the best you can do?), “It be Talk Like a Pirate Day, Cap’n!”
Now Killian’s staring at Henry like he’s afraid the kid might be ill (or crazy), so Emma chimes in with, “It’s… sort of a holiday here. For some people.”
(She’s not even going to try to be more specific, because attempting to explain Internet holidays is a road that can’t end anywhere good.)
That leaves Emma on the receiving end of Killian’s disbelief, and she can’t help the laughter that creeps into her voice as she shrugs and says, “Fictional pirates are popular in this world.”
"Indeed," he says, not so much a question as an expression of deep suspicion.
He thinks they’re making fun of him, she realizes, and so she takes his elbow and steers him out to the TV, where she pulls up the channel guide and flicks through the listings for the History Channel, the Discovery Channel, the all-day Pirates of the Caribbean marathon on USA…
As understanding dawns, a smirk grows on his face, and she leans in to kiss him softly on the cheek. “See? Wall-to-wall pirates.”
"Usually an expression of dismay, rather than anticipation, in my experience," he says, but there’s a dusting of pink on his cheeks. He grins at her, a little pleased, a little shy. "And do you celebrate this holiday as well, love?"
She loops her arms around his neck and presses close, enjoying the quick breath he draws, the subtle widening of his eyes (every time, god, every time). “Some of us are fans all year round, Captain,” she murmurs, and leans in to show her fervent appreciation.
(Until an “Arrr!” richly laden with disgust rings out from the kitchen, and she finds herself giggling helplessly, Killian likewise chuckling in her ear.)
i hope that, wherever my hair ties go, they’re happy. that’s all that matters
My next million dollar idea: reluctant exercise videos with people who aren’t perky.
"Just five more… I know, I kind of want to die right now too, but let’s just power through it."
"Okay, new yoga pose. It’s going to ache like a bastard until your hamstrings release, I’m not gonna lie."
"Stretch a little deeper… it’s okay to yell ‘fuck’ at this point, I won’t tell anyone."yes
Take my money. Jesus. I want this so much.
1. Pour out how much you think you need.
was voldemort a virgin
Imagine being the chick to do the frick frack with the Dark Lord Voldy.
TUMBLR DOT COM: WHERE WE CAN DISCUSS HAVING SEX WITH VOLDEMORT BUT WE CAN’T ACTUALLY SAY THE WORD SEX
doing the do with you know who
I’ll I’m hearing in my head a very awkward atempt at dirty talk, “Who’s your daddy?” “YOU KNOW WHO!” “…Wait, what?”
so my plan for halloween is to dress up as a Nazgul with my black horse and go trick or treating but instead of saying “trick or treat” i’ll either scream or hiss “Bagginssssssssss, Shhhhhhhire” and then ransack their villages in my search for the One Ring
i was joking
oh dear god
HOW MANY PEOPLE DID YOU TERRORIZE